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God bless all of us well well well. today's my rest day. i've finally completed almost all of my assigments n projects. of course, these are the ones whereby deadlines are over. haha i feel so at peace with myself. yet, i'm not used to the 'free-ness'. i guess this happens when we get too used to being busy huh? hmmm. lately been rather troubled. yesterday was ultimate. i just blew up. was in a rather bad mood the whole day, couldnt rest, people were blaming me, i felt like a total piece of shit. and then came the bad thing i did. i blew up at marshmallow. i shouted at him n got him real pissed. actually i cant really be bothered. but somehow, it's also my fault, tho he asked a stupid question. ah lalalala. it's my fault la. should have controlled my temper. oh wells. it's over. i think, to avoid anymore of these nonsense. i am considerin going under a covenant with God. i wanna stay away from the troubles of worldly affairs, esp relationships n stuff. it's really getting on my nerves. it's being so irritating. i dont wanna have anything to do with it. prolly not until i'm ready to, which might be like end of the semester or till next year. i'm really considering that. perhaps it's good. you see, then i have one less thing to bother or worry about, i can concentrate on my ministry, loving my 2 spiritual daughters, whom i hope will grow moer in the Lord. also, i think i wanna like do well in my studies la. i hope to really do well in this semester. you see, people, someone told me this, "when you find yourself extremely troubled by worldly affairs, dont use your own strength. cos God is there for you to lean on Him. seek divine help, ask, and Jehovah Jireh will provide." these words really spoke to me. somehow i really have the urge to talk more to God. although i dont have the energy n time to open the Bible and meditate upon God's Word, but words like these count too, and the best thing would be just to sit, listen, and talk to God, communicate to Him. you will hear Him. that's because my God is alive! He lives and He speaks......... (= |
